escaping from escapism // part I
This time every year, I think back to my last year I lived in Tulsa, my hometown, 7 years ago. I had left Oklahoma City University after a mere semester there, moved back in with my parents, and was re-thinking my future.
It’s taken me years to actually put into words why I actually left OKCU. I really loved the school. I loved how small it was, and I loved the location. Of course, there were the obvious reasons: I was majoring in Vocal Music Education with Piano Emphasis. I was one of 3 other students who were also majoring in that. Otherwise, most of the undergrads there were either Vocal Performance, Musical Theater, or Dance majors. There really wasn’t a program for vocal music ed. I had no desire to be in any of the operas or musicals nor did I want to “waste my time” auditioning for things I didn’t want to be a part of. Yes, it was mandatory.
I had a big classical-music-training-stick up my ass and it was clear to me that it needed to be removed ASAP. The first step in doing so was by escaping the plan.
Anywho, LONG STORY short (from an ironically short amount of time), I made the decision that I wanted to pursue music on my own. I have never been a great student. I made great test scores but had pretty significant ego issues regarding people telling me what to do, how to do it, and for how long. I was pretty defiant and many of my teachers and professors found me to be quite paradoxical since I was so congenial, sharp and willing, otherwise.
So, I packed up my dorm room into my little cavalier and drove back to Tulsa late one night in December of 2004. My parents were not too happy but, they also weren’t going to pay my tuition to a private school if I didn’t want to be there.
I made a deal with them that I would pay for all of my groceries and gas and would be getting a job as soon as I could. I enrolled in the local community college and found a job at a clothing store in the mall. I would spend my free time researching local studios, teaching myself the guitar, and writing songs.
Just so happens that I did not last long at the community college either. I made it through a whopping half of a semester and quit going to class. Go figure.
By April or so of ‘05, I got a new job at a little boutique shop in midtown and sold incense, tibetan singing bowls, didgeridoos, broom skirts, crystals, and things to help balance people’s chakras. I spent a lot of that time sitting alone in that little shop drawing, writing, steaming clothes, making natal charts for friends, dusting, and thinking.

These are early stages of lyrics from my song, “Girls Are Grown And Gone” before they belonged to that particular song. Plus, doodles from my journals.

That’s me and always has been, a list maker.
#1 becoming a producer doesn’t just happen after you learn how to engineerAnd# 2 becoming a producer is much like that of becoming a shaman. It takes experience, an innate intuition about music and the technology, and an incomparable artistry (if you want to be a “real” producer”).
